On Trust, freedom, passion, fear…and ru living or longing?
How do you want to feel?
I ask this question of clients early in our work together.
Most often I hear:
I want to trust myself. I want to feel, FREE.
Yes, we want that!
So why is self-trust so challenging for us?
In the same way we restrict with food, we often restrict with life.
We stop trusting ourselves with food by believing/acting on *information* from the outside, instead of the inside.
We buy into food fear-mongering, then we judge ourselves.
We write off our desires as mistakes, as bad, or wrong.
We decide that waiting to have what we truly crave feels safer.
We opt for Longing rather than Living.
How can we create:
* Trust with food, weight and body.
* Trust with our talents and abilities.
* Trust with Love and relationships.
* Trust that we are allowed to claim what we want.
* Trust in our preferences and power.
* Trust that we can manage whatever comes.
How do we move from restricting to claiming what delights us in
every part of our lives?
“We think we have to have everything figured out to begin,
but beginning is how we figure things out.”
~ SW Berry
- We slow WAY down. Befriend ourselves. Step out of our lovely, comfy comfort zones. We notice what want: The Lavender Tea Cake (this is my new favorite thing), that Red silk dress, Salsa Classes, tiny dream apt. in NYC, big, lovely watercolor set, a summer in Ireland with our children.
- We stop using the word, Just. Stop denying and delaying what we want.
- We practice risking. We say YES to those old, crumpled up desires, to longings we’ve set aside bc our inner critic has forever dismissed them with, Sorry, No way, you can’t because you’re __________, or postponed with, Later, when you’re ______.
- We learn to trust by doing the Thing. Maybe it’s a really scary thing. So, we go slow and take baby steps towards it. When we claim what we want, we notice the fearful stories banging around in our heads. Those: I’ll never, I can’t, not good enough, why bother, thoughts/stories.
- When fear and doubt rise up, we care for them (as if they are little children) with compassion, acceptance, patience and love.
- We interrupt/disrupt our Inner Rationalizer.
- We let go of the outside *rules* and listen to our insides. This is what it means to be intuitive–to listen, experiment, follow and learn.
- Trust is made from acceptance, honesty, self-compassion and surrender. It grows in play–in non-judgement, by believing in what’s possible–even if we can’t yet see it.
- Trusting ourselves is a lifelong process. The ride can be bumpy so buckle up! Every act of moving forward plants seeds for the next step.
- Self-trust is a Superpower. It allows us to move through life based on a gut-level knowing that we can do hard things, that we will be okay, that even if we’re temporarily confused/uncertain, we will eventually find our way. Self-trust breeds confidence, courage and action. Freedom to do and be what we choose.
We all need guides as we move into the unknown.
I’m here to help you listen to and believe in yourself.
To take risks so you can claim those things that truly nourish you.
curious about working with me?
I invite you to have a look at my 1:1 Coaching Packages and see if one of them resonates with you.